I cannot believe that when I landed home from Mexico it was still snowing here in Ohio. It is April! This is not supposed to still be happening. Talk about getting slapped in the face with reality.

My trip to Mexico was nothing short of magical. It was my birthday on our first day there (25 now–yikes!!) and I got to spend it in a beautiful place with my entire family and Cameron. The entire week was filled with perfect weather, belly laughs, beach games, boardwalk runs, fruity drinks, and lots and lots of spectacular food. It was JUST the vacation I needed with all of the craziness surrounding our big move to Houston hitting us full on just after match day. Not to mention I cannot remember the last vacation I got to go on, especially with my whole family. What more could I possibly have asked for???

Seriously, not only was that lobster tail PHENOMENAL, but my entire family tried my risotto and we agreed that it was the absolute best risotto we had ever had. Talk about the best birthday meal ever!

Seafood and risotto seemed to be a big trend where we were–and I am definitely not complaining about that. To be honest, I don’t usually eat seafood unless I am at a restaurant. Living in a one bedroom apartment complex and trying to save money, I just don’t have the tools to make good seafood. Thankfully this trip covered my servings of fish for at least a while!

Yes, my two younger sisters and I wore fruit bathing suits together so we could take a picture with fruit. It was actually one of their suggestions for something from vacation to put on my blog–talk about having an amazing support system?!

Now before I move onto my BIG NEWS, I want to touch a little bit on body image and eating/physical activity before and while on vacation.

I remember a time in my life when the weeks leading up to vacation would have sent my anxiety around food and my body into a spiral. Spring break during my senior year of high school and early college was just as much of a nightmare for me as it was enjoyable. I remember the constant talk from friends and others about being in bikinis and needing to diet beforehand. Naturally, my eating disorder LOVED this time because it gave it an excuse to dive back into restrictive habits, masked as just getting in shape for spring break. I wish I could say this pressure was simply due to my ED, but reality is this pressure to look a certain way especially before these type of breaks exists for so many people. We are constantly bombarded with messages and images of the “perfect body”–or articles taunting headlines like “get bikini ready in X weeks”. It is no wonder so many people are self conscious or end up turning to restrictive diets or intense exercise regimes leading up to a vacation!

So why am I talking about this? I wanted to touch on this because I want people to know they do not have to feel this way. Easier said than done, I know. But the more we talk about this the more of a reality it can be for people. And I know this because leading up to this vacation, rather than restrict eating, eat differently than I normally would, or exercise more intensely, I simply ate intuitively and was amazed at how different I felt once I was there. Now I am not saying that I have overwhelming confidence about my body. But I am comfortable in my skin and know that trying to alter my body before a trip is not going to bring me happiness, or even more confidence for that matter.. because there could always be something I don’t like or would change. When we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Our bodies are each so different, and there are genetic components that we simply cannot change. What we CAN change fully though is our mindset.

Vacations are a time to relax, unwind, and enjoy time with family, friends, loved ones, or even just yourself. Often times following diets or extreme exercise regimes before and during this can impeded on that limited time had. I think it is important to understand that it is even possible to maintain healthy eating and exercise on vacation, but first we must understand what healthy is and it is not. This can vary from person to person, but I want to share what my healthy is.

My healthy is eating foods that nourish my body, and that I truly enjoy. It is eating a salad because it sounds good, not because I think I have to. It is saying yes to dessert if I am not overly full (shout out to Cameron and my family for somehow having a dessert and birthday song sent to me every single night of vacation). It is ordering a fruity drink at the pool instead of a diet soda because of calories. It is going out for a morning run if I want to and have time, and not forcing myself to do exercises I don’t want to. Some days, I ran less than I might while at home, and some days I did not work out because I was busy enjoying other things. It is going for a walk instead of sprinting, or doing Zumba with my whole family by the pool rather than lifting at the gym. It is knowing that I still need to take care of my body NO MATTER where I am or what I am or will be wearing.

If I can say one thing is for sure, it is that changing my outlook on what health is has lead me to a happier life. As mine and Cameron’s big move is approaching rapidly, this vacation with my family meant so much to me and I was so thankful to be able to enjoy it fully without any negative body or food thoughts taking up that space.

Also….. I was able to be fully present in this magical moment:

My best friend in the world asked me to marry him!!!! I truly could not have asked for a more perfect moment. Especially as my family came running out from hiding. My heart is still so full.